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June 30, 2013
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Water
washing away
everything you thought you were.

What will remain
when everything that is
not you
-just a temporary shell-
is washed away?

Can you stand
to be so shellless
your naked self
tossed through the currents?

Or will you rather collect
new detritus
forming a new shell
to dress your self in?
This is my entry for the monthly challenge of #Dreamers-Welcome this months theme is Water.
To the challenge description: fav.me/d67hkwp
You can see all the other lovely entries here: dreamers-welcome.deviantart.co…

Now that I reconsider it I think this was also subconsciously inspired by No man is an island by *0hgravity
I even stole a word (shelless)! :blushes: If you do not know No man is an island yet, please go there, read it, fav it. To me it is one of the most beautiful poems ever.

Water  is not your element?
Try one of those then:
Earth
Fire
Air (aka Wind)
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:iconjacobguy:
jacobguy Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013
Beauty 
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :)
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:iconjacobguy:
jacobguy Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013
your welcome
:iconthumbsupplz:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ah, I'm so honored to have inspired this lovely piece ^^

I really love the final stanza.
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much :squee:
I am very happy you like it, especially as I realized later your poem was part of my inspiration. (No man is an island crept so far into my brain that it took me some time to figure this out :giggle:)
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome!
ah, that means a lot to me that my poetry has such a strong effect.
thanks for sharing this with me.
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist
fire
blackening over
nothing i felt i never wanted to be

everything else charred
when there's nothing that is
just me
-the other inside is eternal-
still here with the fire

on my knees
just a shell
covered in soot
left in the flames

i'd rather give up
release my hold on anything cleansing
the insides destroying
my self that is already chipping away
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
And again - as this can not be said too often - thank you very much for your mirror :hug:

But I must admit this one is confusing me a bit. Despite thinking it over for some time, I can not quite figure out those three lines.
nothing i felt i never wanted to be
-the other inside is eternal-
still here with the fire


For the first one I don't quite understand what exactly the fire is blackening over, when it is blackening over nothing i felt i never wanted to be.
The two other ones I don't really understand in the context.

Would you mind to enlighten me ? :)
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist
Honestly, some of these end up making sense and some don't... some make more sense taken metaphorically. I don't really plan them out; my mind just runs with your writing line by line twisting them. I did not have any plan going into the creation of the reflection besides letting my mind just spill out into the notepad program I type it into.

I guess if there is any meaning to it... I'd have to looking into my own twisted psyche. I didn't reread it before, but I will now and see what I pick out of it from the innards of my mind.

"fire
blackening over
nothing i felt i never wanted to be"
-Fire tends to leave soot which blackens things. Fire might be alluding to my rage inside... the rage doesn't black the parts of me that I don't want to be.

"everything else charred
when there's nothing that is
just me
-the other inside is eternal-
still here with the fire"
-Going back to the fire that char things. Everything else I wanted to be is charred and ruined by fire... and all that is left in the fire (my rage) is not me but the inner demons (demons being eternal beings).

"on my knees
just a shell
covered in soot
left in the flames"
-Due to the fires of my rage, the only thing left of the person I thought I was is just a blackened shell.

"i'd rather give up
release my hold on anything cleansing
the insides destroying
my self that is already chipping away"
-I guess this is saying I'd rather die than let anything that would give strength to my inner demons which are already chipping away at what I consider myself.

I am just guessing what was involved in my mind based on how I know my mind works. Like I've said, I don't really control myself when I write these.
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This really helped me to understand it. Thank you very much for taking the time to explain it to me. :)
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