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Twisted Reflection by Zevais

Poems by StarWolfMystic


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Submitted on
June 10, 2013
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More persistent than
an irremovable black marker,
you engraved your words of love
into my practical stone heart.

You decorated that barren place inside of me
with flowers made of
your honest words,
your boyish smile,
your warm touch,
and the colour of your affection.

So gentle feelings began
to grow inside of me,
cracking open my stone heart,
forming a tiny gap,
just big enough for you to slip in.
I was inspired to write this by ~thegirlfromindonesia's beautiful picture I Love you rocks.

She is this weeks (week #6, see here:[link] ) Artist of the Week in the Group #DAotW.
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist
less relenting than
replaceable white out
i covered up my voices of hate
under my impractical glass mind

i corrupted the beautiful nothings around you
with weeds taking in
my filthy voices,
my genderless scowl,
my ice cold numbness
and the gray lack of affection

so harsh thoughts end
the shrinking world around me,
reinforcing my closed glass mind,
destroying any large wall
just small enough to hold the demons in
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for another one of your wonderful mirrors!

I especially liked those parts:
impractical glass mind
i corrupted the beautiful nothings around yoo
the gray lack of affection

There was only one line that did not quite fit in for me:
destroying any large wall

It did not quite fit in for me as it seemed to be a contradiction to the "closed glass mind" and "hold the demons in".
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist
like I've said before, I don't really control the process... I go line by line letting my mind run with it...

I think people are getting the impression that I think about the writing and purposely go line by line figuring it out. I just read the writing, and I see if my mind is in the mood to write a reflection. If my mind is in the mood, the twisted reflections just flow out of me. I have a rather large thesaurus inside of my own mind at times, so I rarely have to pause or think about the next word. I have a strange method of writing.
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So maybe you could call it intuitive writing or something like that :)

Still, I can not let your mirrors slip past me uncommented. So the least I can do is pointing out the lines I like (and those I did not like so much, if present). I hope you don't mind ;)
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist
Technically, it is call Stream of Thought. Literature classes rarely distinguish anymore between Stream of Thought and Stream of Consciousness referring to both styles as the same thing when they are not. I just rarely call it Stream of Thought because people will confuse me with a Stream of Consciousness writer. Also... I tend to hear music in my head as I write, so my writings are often lyrics... people don't seem to associate Stream of Thought with lyrics... I am just odd.
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Funny you mention the fact you hear music while writing after I watched this documentation about synaesthesia that ^NicSwaner mentioned in his journal. ;)
But I am curious: on first sight I don't understand the difference between Stream of Thought and Stream of Consciousness either. So which is the important difference to you?
(By the way I would never think of you as odd. I would choose a different word: unique. )
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist
Stream of Consciousness is a narrative device. It is just a flow of narrative from the author's (character if the author using first person for the character) that appears as flowing monologue often without proper punctuation and conjugation. The writing reflects common speech or thought without holding to the rigid rules of language mechanics.

Stream of Thought is literary device. It is not restricted to a narrative, and it may use punctuation or language mechanics if the author just happens to think or feel the punctuation/language mechanics as he or she writes. It is a flow of the mind onto paper in the purest form without restriction. It is essentially free-writing with the intention of the free-write becoming the final copy.
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I see, that is quite a difference indeed.
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(1 Reply)
:iconflightlessheron:
flightlessheron Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Student Writer
I adore this!

the imagery is just stunning
and it tells such a vivid story.

you are missing a few commas
in some places.

for example: an irremovable black marker,
you engraved your words of love

and: you warm touch,
and the colour of your affection.

This is a wonderful poem, dear! :heart:
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much honey :heart:
I am really happy about this wonderful and helpful critique from you :hug:
I fixed the two commas you mentioned, thanks for pointing them out to me. The grammar rules regarding commas are a bit different for German, so I sometimes get a bit confused about these little guys. :-? Is every comma in its proper place now?
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