Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconstory-of-a-mind: More from Story-of-a-Mind


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
March 30, 2013
File Size
717 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
192
Favourites
8 (who?)
Comments
19
×
You are the mass,
the majority,
the group.

I am the lone creature of difference.

You think the single thought
of the hive mind.
Because your strength is unity,
conformity is what you seek.

I seek the aberrant thoughts of innovation.

You despise
aberrance
irregularity
unconformity
difference.

I embrace
variety
tolerance
change
and an open mind.

I am what you are not:
the non-group
the un-conventional
the in-dependent
my own self made individual.
This poem was inspired by the poem Independent by =SpriteBlayde

I finally managed to create a counterpart of this: All Together Different. While "Frozen Hive Mind" was about the differences and problems between group and individual, All Together Different speaks about bringing those two things together, creating a group as it should be.


Deutsche Version dieses Gedichts (German Version): Erstarrter Schwarm
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlookatvoid:
lookatvoid Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013
I I prefer the individuality, because sometimes the collective thinking does not distinguish between what is correct and wrong, for me is like a dumb giant monster that it can be misguided very easily by their own desires.
I remember an experiment that proved that a mass can change the thinking of an individual with some pressure, even if the way of the group is clearly a wrong one. The need to avoid feel rejected is greater.
Reply
:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, you are right. It can be kind of scary how easily the mass can assimilate others, although the originaly thought different.
Reply
:iconsame-side:
Same-side Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2013   Writer
The ending feels a bit unfinished.
Reply
:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi, first of all, thank you for your feedback :)
To me the ending felt quite finished, (which was why I ended the poem) so could you describe what about the ending felt unfinished to you? Any suggestions how I could improve that?
Reply
:iconsame-side:
Same-side Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013   Writer
I don't mean "unfinished" in the sense of it being unpolished; rather, it feels as if the speaker leaves some thoughts unspoken, as if suddenly/starkly interrupted. Decelerating into a ritardando with your words will give the reader a better sense that the poem has ended.
Reply
:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm, I will think about it. But if I understood it correctly, ritardando is a slowing down of the pace at the end. But I do not really want it to slow down at the end. It is actually to become "louder" at the end, not slower.
Reply
:iconsame-side:
Same-side Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013   Writer
Ritardando and crescendo are not opposites, nor are they mutually exclusive qualities.
Reply
:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist
I am the volume
empty space,
a vaccum.

You are all similar creatures of habit.

I don't speak my every word
to a single voice.
Because my weakness is seperation,
chaos is what I keep to myself.

I shun the ordinary words of destruction.

I desire
typical
regular
harmonic
similarity.

You release
singularity
abhorrence
paradigm
and resistance to my words.

You are not what I am:
Legion
Orthodox
Indigent
the hive mind outside of self.
Reply
:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ahh, how wonderful another mirror! I really started missing those! Thank you very much. :hug:

Especially those two lines made me think:
Because my weakness is seperation,
chaos is what I keep to myself.
Reply
:iconsacredzinja:
sacredZinja Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aus Life of Brian: "You are all different." - "I am not." ;-)

Find schön, dass der Text nicht nur eine Wahrheit, sondern auch ein Gefühl liefert. Mag sehr den Ausdruck "the lone creature of difference".

Und ich persönlich finde, dass der Text... trotz des Gefühls von Gegeneinander und Einsamkeit eher Gelassenheit und Stolz rüberbringt, statt Bitterkeit und Aggression oder so. Das gefällt mir irgendwie extrem gut, weil es nicht schlimm sein muss, anders zu sein.
Reply
Add a Comment: