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July 13, 2013
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I'll be your arm
please be my leg.

We can not have too many eyes,
as every viewpoint is different.

My weakness is your strength
and I'll catch you where you fall.


We are
all together different,

adapted just as much,
as required to make room
for individuals.


Because you are
what we have been missing.

We appreciate all your skills
and all our talents
are at your disposal.

Let us eternally rediscover
your new true self.


You are invited:

Be unique, be You.
Be curious, be Us.
Be part of the group
made of individuals.
"All Together Different" is the counterpart of Frozen Hive Mind, and the translation of the German poem Gemeinsam Unterschiedlich.

I first wrote Frozen Hive Mind then translated it into the German Erstarrter Schwarm. Then I wrote the counterpart Gemeinsam Unterschiedlich and translated this one into the English "All Together Different". And this is how the circle closes (finally!) :D

Both the translation are not 1:1 translations but aimed to convey the sense and style rather than translating it word by word.

While Frozen Hive Mind was about the differences and problems between group and individual, "All Together Different" speaks about bringing those two things together, creating a group as it should be.

Deutsche Version dieses Gedichts: Gemeinsam Unterschiedlich
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist
you won't have my fingers
you won't have my feet

i've had enough of this sight
when same things are blinding me.

my strength is weakening me
since no one caught me when i fell.

i am
still the same,

resistant to change,
never allowed the open space
for everyone else.

because i am
what no one has lost.

shunned for what i can do
and what i cannot accomplish
is beyond my reach.

don't let me be lost now
i want to be someone else.

the entrance is sealed:

nothing consistant, nothing mine
nothing oblivious, nothing ours.
a part of nothingness
when i am surrounded.
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
because I am / what no one has lost
This might be the loneliest mirror I ever read. It makes sense the opposite of the perfect group might be loneliness, but still...
:hug:
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:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist
this reflection did indeed come out overly lonely
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like the concept of this and I think you translated it well. It has such a strong and encouraging voice.

Only thing I'd suggest changing is this stanza:

adapted just as much,
as required to make room
for Individuals.

to maybe

adapted, as required,
to make room for
Individuals.

(not sure why individuals is capitalized here but not in the final stanza.)

well done :thumbsup:
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for your helpful feedback :hug:

The capitalization of individuals is a typical German translation error ;P
(In German, all the nouns are written with a capital letter)
Thanks for pointing it out, I'll correct it right away.

I will also consider your suggestion for the stanza. The problem is that the "just as much" is very important to me here. I wanted to express that we will not become a group were individuality is abolished so everyone will be absolutely conform to the group (see the counterpart of this,  Frozen Hive Mind), but stay individuals that only adjust (a little) so that living together as a group becomes possible.

Maybe I'll find a better way to phrase this...

So far, thanks again for your feedback :)
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome :hug:

oh, I see. a good friend of mine is German. pretty sure she's mentioned this to me before.

I definitely understood what you wanted to express there and I don't think removing "just as much" will take away the meaning
but that is my own feeling about it. I don't think leaving it as is will be detrimental to the piece, just something to consider.

welcome ^^ 
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:iconraeeelouisexoxo:
raeeelouisexoxo Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my... I'll be honest, at first I was a bit... confused. I thought you meant to write "altogether" instead of "all together", and so it just... made more sense when I read the description. I thought it was interesting how you wrote, "Because you are what we have been missing". It really stands out because it's common for people to believe that they aren't wanted because they're different. Though at the beginning, I  thought it didn't flow, but as I got to the end, I realised it did. 

I really did enjoy it, though, and I hope to see more like it. 

Happy writing!
-Rae♥
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:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment :hug:
I actually wanted the title to be both "altogether" and "all together", being completely different and being so together.
Differences perceived as a gift instead of something negative was one of the most important points I wanted to make, so I am happy you could see it in the poem.

Also, Thank you for the star :star:  :)
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:iconraeeelouisexoxo:
raeeelouisexoxo Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome (:
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:iconhadrianr:
HadrianR Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013
I've been pondering the meaning of this for..gee, a month now...off and on.  I think I understand it a bit better now, and maybe what inspired you to write it.   It's a keeper :)
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